Yes, that’s right, I get to use an idiom to make my point in today’s blog. I’ve given up the ghost.

To add a little detail, I’ve given up the ghostwriting element of my ‘writer of stuff’ offerings at agoodwriteup.

It’s not a decision I’ve taken lightly, but one that I feel really good about, and you should always feel good about the work you do, shouldn’t you?

Ghostwriting was something I fell into at some point when I was running agoodwriteup solely as a copywriting business. Person A asked Person B if they knew someone who could write books, and Person B made the link that because I write, and because I like books, I’d be the person to ask. It made sense, so I agreed to get involved, and things just went from there.

As copywriting was my main love, that aspect of my work remained my main focus, but I couldn’t ignore what would go on to be a big break for me on all levels, when I was recommended to write the autobiography and business book of Joseph Valente, former winner of BBC 1 hit TV show, The Apprentice. Rather than being most proud of the resulting book – which was fantastic, by the way – I was more proud of the fact that Joe chose me in the first place, when he had access to pretty much anyone; and most of them better known and likely better writers than me, too!

As well as the book going on to be an Amazon number one best-seller, the best bit for me will always be about the enjoyment I took in writing the book with Joe on all the occasions we met up.  Even though I was struggling with a tough pregnancy at the time, and was travelling up and down the country a lot to meet with Joe to talk everything though, it was one of the most enjoyable times of my career. Joe was (and still is) a lovey guy, tremendous amounts of fun, and knew exactly what he wanted in his book.  In addition, he took on board everything I told him that my role involved and would require from him, and listened intently to what my remit would definitely not cover. For example, I never have anything to do with the publishing side of things of clients’ books. If it’s self-publishing they want, I literally don’t know how to help. If going through a traditional publisher is what they’re after, then let’s just say I’m not doing everyone else’s work for them.  I just write the books.  Joe knew that, and so did/do all of my other ghostwriting clients (for the most part),

But, there’s always one, isn’t there? Statistically, this one person marks a very small percentage in my portfolio of ghostwriting clients, but sadly, having drained me over the period of just under a year, their ability to exploit just about every downside of being a ghostwriter has become nothing short of overwhelming.

I’m not here to name and shame, dish the dirt, or get my five minutes of fame, although ironically, I could write a book about my experience!

Instead, indulge me in reading about a literal handful of the biggest issues that completely screwed it for me to think anything but negatively about ghostwriting for the future, and why having gone through all of them at least once in the past month alone, I’ve decided that writing books for other people is just not for me anymore, as I build my business and strive for that work-life balance everyone harps on about when they tell you to set up on your own.

So, no rhyme, no reason, just the facts.

When it comes to ghostwriting, you’ll always get one client who…

• Expects you to drop your price because you’re already getting the ‘honour’ of working with them, or because they know that a client you wrote for five years ago got it cheaper.
• Thinks that because you’re writing about their life, you should immerse yourself completely in said life instead of living/having your own. Lord help you if you have any other clients…
• Believes that you are being difficult if you don’t answer your phone at 10pm, can’t meet on a moment’s notice, or won’t re-write an entire chapter before the end of the day (for free, I might add).
• Tries to convince you that the terms and conditions you agreed at the initial briefing about how you work and what your role does and does not cover, really aren’t the best things for you, and insist you should instead just be “cut in on the profits when it’s an international best-seller…”  (This is usually half way into a project, by the way).
• Doesn’t listen to what you say, doesn’t tell you information you really need to know, and hilariously, doesn’t even bloody read what you’ve written for them.

These are all frustrating, upsetting and draining enough, but this list would in no way be complete without me mentioning what I like to call the 3D model of non-payment, because god forbid you should be paid for the honour of writing someone else’s bloody life’s work for them.

This is how the model works. First, you have to go through the delayed payment stage, which buggers up your diary and planning as well as your cashflow and confidence. Then, you get the scenario where you relent that the client isn’t going to pay you at all without a fight, and you’re left with not so much as an explanation, never mind an apology. Finally, the client goes all out and fucking denies owing you any money at all! And you know what? They don’t even feel the need to even attempt a reason.  I imagine this is rare, but oh my god…

Naivety, stupidity, I don’t know, but after spending the best part of year putting up with all the issues I raised a couple of paragraphs ago, being hit with that 3D trifecta just absolutely did me in this week.

As with all of my blog posts and LinkedIn updates, I always welcome comments, opinions and ideas, but before you reach for the keyboard, please just know that I’m very much part of the problem here.  Yes, I chose my client badly. Yes, I should have insisted on payment up front. And yes, I should have cut ties with this whole thing long ago. But, for reasons based equally on mitigating factors as well as naivety, I didn’t. I can’t change that, so any bollocking anyone wants to give me won’t matter; deserved as it may be.

This will all, of course, shape who I am and what I do in the future, and rightly or wrongly, that person is no longer someone who wants to be a ghostwriter.

Who knows, maybe I’ll write a book about all of this one day.