Bloody Julia Donaldson

Julia Donaldson, Bloody Julia Donaldson, author, children's author, Jo Watson, agoodwriteup, poem, poetry, fan mail

I had some time on my hands.

I tried to write a children’s book.

It didn’t go well.

It turns out that Bloody Julia Donaldson has already had all the best ideas.

I wrote a poem to express my thoughts on the issue.

I sent it to Bloody Julia Donaldson.

Bloody Julia Donaldson wrote back.

She loved it.

And so here it is.


When I sit down to write my first children’s book,

It’s clear to see that I’m cursed…

There are no new ideas (just frustrated tears) –

Bloody Julia had them all first.


When I dream up a fable of a mythical beast,

Where a little brown mouse can out-run it…

I cut short our trek through that deep, dark wood –

Bloody Julia’s already done it.


When I picture that wood where that beast has a child,

With adventure a wonderful thirst…

I can forget about snakes and Gruffalo cakes –

Bloody Julia birthed the child first.


When I think up a yarn about dragons and quests,

And I know just how I’ll position it…

I can scrap ever winning a golden star –

Bloody Julia’s already written it.


When I swirl up a story of perils at sea,

And friendships that weather the worst…

I must cast away tales of snails and of whales –

Bloody Julia got there first.


When I craft out a verse of a man made of sticks,

Who gets lost but is sure to come through it…

I can bugger off home to the Family Tree –

Bloody Julia’s beaten me to it.


When I spell out a plot about room on a broom,

With a witch and her cat at the ready…

I can forget about dogs, and birds, and frogs –

Bloody Julia’s done it already.

I think of this writer of beautiful books,

And the smiles that she brings through her verse…

And I write out this homage in the hope I won’t find –

Bloody Julia’s written it first.

So, the Mighty JD loved it… but what do YOU think?

Will this mean I’m going to name drop our Jules at any given moment now that she’s my new best friend?

Will this mean it’s all going to be the making of me as a successful children’s author? 

Will this mean I’ll be able to track down Tom Hardy to get him to read this poem for me on a video so that I can make it go viral and become some kind of mysterious unseen star?


No idea.

No doubt bloody Julia will write a fabulous children’s book about the unfolding tale, though…



Copyright @ 2021

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