Showy has a shelf-life

I’m worried about this chapter coming across in a way that implies I have any idea whatsoever about what kids want and need in terms of entertainment and engagement – in general, let alone at Christmas.

I have no fucking clue, guys and girls, so the last thing I want to do is to lead anyone down that path of righteousness (or wrong-eousness). I’m still not over the fact that I never got a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas, despite asking every year between the ages of 4 and 29, so nobody is more aware than I am about the impact of poor parenting when it comes to toy bestowal.

Now, multimedia advertisements, shop floor displays, and other mothers (and fathers, too – I just liked the fact that ‘other mothers’ sounded funny) will convince us that we need the latest, biggest, brightest, boldest, shiniest, noisiest, most ethically-sourced-iest gifts, gadgets, and gizmos for our babies and tots. In no way limited to Christmas, either. We’re sold in many cases on how these things aid our kids’ development, therefore making us feel guilty about our parenting choices if we don’t succumb and subscribe. We’ve all been there, though, haven’t we, where you buy the gift (and go broke for it), only to find that your tot either shows more interest in the paper the gift was packaged in, or, they show tremendous levels of excitement and engagement with the new plaything for five whole minutes, before going on to show the exact same levels of all-encompassing joy for a dirty old rock, an uncooked Maris Piper, or a singular size 5 flip flop. Other massively underwhelming everyday crap is available.

You see, like it or not, ‘showy’ has a shelf-life, and getting the next big thing in toy world (mediocre name for a store) probably means more to us as parents than it does to our little ones. I’ll caveat this by saying that this does not apply to older kids, who are – let’s face it – shallow and ungrateful to their very core. Babies, tots, and infants, though? They just like what they like, and we kind of have to go with that and pray that simplicity will forever feature in their lives…

One of my child’s favourite ‘toys’ for a long time was a hairbrush – and one that had seen better days (and better heads of hair, too), if I’m honest. My child had countless hours of fun with that hairbrush, taking great joy in the times she found it somewhere in the house where she didn’t expect it to show up. It was as though it was a piece of precious hidden treasure that positively bristled (ha!) with delight as she raised it to the sky like some kind of piss-poor Lion King parody. She would sing into that hairbrush, she would brush and bang it against almost any surface, and for a while whilst she was really little, if I ever dropped that hairbrush on an uncarpeted floor, the scene was literally the most nappy-wetting hilarious thing in the world to her. You can’t buy that kind of reaction in Smyths, people!

Whilst my daughter does indeed love the snazzy semi-pro percussion section that I purchased to make myself feel better about having ditched my own instrument tuition in favour of getting boys to like me when I was 16, does my child prefer that well-crafted musical masterpiece over the more rustic assembly of random hairdressing tools we have hanging around the house?

No. Does she bollocks.

Providing she reaches her objective of making magic/noise/mess, my child is more than happy. Bonus points if she gets our attention and time, because not everything for a top childhood is ‘available in all good toy shops’.

That’s what our clients want when we serve them in business. Not the noise or the mess, of course, but they want the magic of having reached their objective, result, or solution with simplistic ease and minimal effort on their part. They want to be entertained merely by our brilliance at what we do, because they can’t get that hit themselves. They want the outcome – and for it to be something that brings them joy in whichever form makes their heart sing more and their wallet scream less.

Though it feels good to pull out the big guns with the big gifts, it’s nice but not always necessary when we think of what it is our babies and little ones actually want and need in life – and the same goes for making our clients happy in business. When it comes to putting out our offer and pitching our work to potential clients, we’re so keen to ‘add value’, to be the best, and to have a unique selling point (spoiler alert – there’s no such thing), that we often forget that what will make the client most happy is simply getting the job done and solving their problem. It’s lovely to have bells and whistles on all you do and how you do it, but ultimately, a great product or stand-up service will bring your clients all the joy they need. All the USPs in the world don’t count for toffee if you can’t seal the deal and deliver on your promise, after all.

Our clients, much like our small people, know what they like. We may not have a clue what that is, and this concept may even inexplicably and without warning change several times within the duration of a single conversation, but they like what they like, and that’s that. In even attempting to cater to that, and for the sake of our standards as well as our sanity, we really do need to just keep it simple, not showy.

And I know, you want things to look the part. It’s professional, it’s good branding, it’s a sign of pride, etc. But don’t forget that in the process of prettying everything up, you shouldn’t lose sight of the good stuff that you provide at the heart of your product or service.

You can’t put on a good show if you’ve not properly set the stage in the first place.

Chapter taken from my 2023 debut book, TOT ANALYSIS: Why Running Your Business is Child’s Play. Available online – and on shelves in real shops! Shop local. Oh, and Merry Christmas to all my readers.