We hear so many amazing stories from both Big and Little Sisters that we wanted to share them with you. This month Jo Watson talks about her experience of being a Big Sister.

I’m a Big Sister, and I’m a role model.

Whether I’m the most positive role model, I don’t know, but I’d like to think that I’m doing some things well in providing positive experiences in order for my Little Sister to grow, achieve and shine.

Some people think that you should really have lived the perfect life in order to dispense advice. Others believe that you need to have triumphed over each and every adversity in life in order to offer a truly balanced and ‘been there done that’ set of experiential views. However, whilst Big Sisters could spend weeks debating the best ways to be a role model to young people, none of what we think really matters. The girls themselves – the Little Sisters – will weigh you up instantly, and they will see you for what you are.

What you view as fantastic experiences and accolades in your life may mean absolutely nothing to your Little Sister, who may not have time in her busy teenage mind for bells and whistles. Likewise, those faults and flaws you’re so desperately trying to hide from her in the hope that she’ll see some kind of superwoman when she looks at you, could actually be the very aspects of your personality that make you ‘real’ to her. In her teenage world, where there is a limited amount of certainty (friendships, love interests, predicted grades in Science etc), she needs and will respond most effectively to the real you.

My Little Sister is called Hafsa. I was told prior to meeting her that she may present some behavioural challenges to me. At the first session of meeting her, she inexplicably welled-up with tears. This doesn’t sound promising, does it? It proves my point though about the complexities of teenage girls, and the fact that you can never second guess what they truly want and need from you at a given time.

About a month into the Big Sister mentoring programme, during a group session with all the Big and Little Sisters, we were all asked to share a quality about our sister that we admired.

“She’s kind”, was a popular response.

“She’s a good listener”, was another prominent reply from the group.

“She’s good at arguing and always gets what she wants”, was Hafsa’s contribution to the discussion. The sisters all laughed, I of course cringed, and Hafsa sat there looking very pleased with the originality of her offering.

Bolt out of the blue though it was, I cannot argue (ironically) with Hafsa’s contribution. Her summary of me was pretty much bang on the money, and all credit to her for pulling that out as being one of my strongest features. Note how I’m not claiming it’s one of my ‘best’ features!

For Hafsa, herself a keen arguer, hence the troubles she was having at school, a Big Sister who shared those same aspects of her personality was absolutely pivotal. I would like to think that through getting to know Hafsa, I’ve been able to show her that there are ways and means of ‘getting what you want’ and that arguing is a lot more complex than simply being the person to shout the loudest.

In seeing me for what I am, Hafsa can hopefully emulate my better qualities, learn from the lesser ones, and more importantly, respect me for being exactly what I am – a human being who wants to help out another human being.

I’m a Big Sister, and I’m a role model