I used to get annoyed at the people who ‘treat LinkedIn like it’s a dating site’.

These days, I get just as annoyed at the people who make a big deal out of announcing that ‘LinkedIn isn’t a dating site’, like we (sadly) haven’t heard it all before.

I just deal with people on LinkedIn the way I’d deal with them in real life if they did something that made me feel uncomfortable. I’d tell them to f*ck off. It’s remarkably easy.

Having said that, considering I personally don’t use LinkedIn for dating, I don’t half get ditched a lot by men on there…

If someone contacts me through LinkedIn because they’re interested in working with me, I’ll always get back to them with a proposal of what I can do and how I can do it. Most times, the proposal will fit the bill and the client and I will go ahead and work together in what is hopefully the start of a beautiful relationship. Conversely, sometimes a client will come back with a “no” or a “not right now” and we’ll part ways with me wishing them all the best. It’s just business.

Every now and then, however, it does feel like I’m getting spectacularly ditched after I thought things were going so well with a potential client, and I was ready to tell my parents about them… In the case of this blog, the examples all happen to be men, but I’m sure women are guilty of these acts, too. I’d love to hear people’s stories – just so I know ‘it’s not me’.

First, there was the gent who messaged me on LinkedIn to tell me he absolutely loved my style and wanted to know if I could re-write his website in the same way I’d written mine. 42 minutes later, I got the chance to reply to him to say “thank you” and to confirm “yes of course”…  cue the message I got back an hour later to express apologies but my guy had “already found someone else to work with”. 42 minutes, love. I’ve given drain cleaning fluids longer time to get to work.

Then there’s the fella who sent me a direct LinkedIn message on a Friday afternoon. Like a lot of people, I really try not to do any work on weekends so that I can be with my small child – who I talk a LOT about on LinkedIn – and so I replied to him at Monday lunchtime. I was a bit narked by my man’s curt response later that day to say that he “made the fair assumption” that because I “hadn’t bothered to reply over the weekend”, I wasn’t interested in his offer and so he’d be looking elsewhere. Wow. He’d have been fun to work with. My loss.

I think the next one is my favourite because the interaction contained no words whatsoever. The message in question was received early doors (about 7am as I was up with the baby), and I intended to reply when I could sit down later that afternoon and have a look at everything he’d asked me to comment on. “?????” came a ‘follow up’ message from him at 8.50am. Yes, you read that correctly… “?????” Oh the irony of him needing someone to do his writing for him… To be fair though, he didn’t ditch me – I ditched him. What an @>$£.

And finally, forgive me for nearly forgetting contestant number four, seeing as I can only think he fell, hit his head and forgot all about me during our relationship. I present to you the gent who agreed a full proposal over a fairly comprehensive string of info-rich LinkedIn messages, then after signing off in September 2017 with a message to say he’d send over the first part of the project that Saturday, only managed to get back to me on Sunday…

In December…

2018.

Yes, FIFTEEN months later!

I literally had a baby in that time, mate!

Contestant number four did give me a giggle, though, as I sat there with my one year old that night. He asked if I could get something over to him “early next week”. I’ll let you all know what I respond with. In March 2022.

Funnily enough, I’ve never been ditched after anyone’s been offended by something I’ve written in a LinkedIn post….

I’m pretty sure that day’s not too far off, though.

Bring it on, number five.