If you’re anything like me (which is a good start, given the point of this post), then you won’t be able to scroll too far or for too long on LinkedIn without being pierced through the eyes and ears by someone harping on about the importance of identifying your ‘Ideal Clients’ in your business.

I see the point of having a vague understanding, obviously, but there are some posts about the Ideal Client concept that I’m really not willing to take seriously. For example…

a) I won’t take Ideal Client advice from anyone who preaches the way of the Ideal Client ‘Avatar’, but then blatantly works with everyone and anyone who bites at their marketing (because it’s clear that in building their business, money talks louder than morals).

b) I won’t take Ideal Client advice from anyone who claims I need to know this mythical creature inside out and back to front. No; I don’t need to know what their inside leg measurement is, what they had for tea, or why at the age of 55 they left their first wife (Sheila) for the next-door neighbour’s 19 year-old son. I simply need to know what their problem is – and if I might be the right person to fix it for them.

c) I won’t take Ideal Client advice from anyone who in one breath bangs on about ‘dreamy’ clients (ick), but in the next intake of air starts moaning their mammories off about late payers. Call me cynical, but at the top of my list of Ideal Client attributes is ‘ready, willing & able to pay’. It’ll never catch on in business, I know…

I digress, however, because this post is actually about me making a little checklist for the Ideal Clients I’d love to work with in 2025. I say in all my marketing that I’m a copywriter hired by people with great taste in copywriters, but in the words of the late, great Jimmy Cricket (who isn’t dead), “and there’s more“, so here we go…

1. Do you actually want to work with a professional copywriter?

If your opening gambit with me is “I could write this myself“, or if you secretly resent me for allegedly doing what AI or someone on Fiverr can do for a fraction of the cost, I’m okay with you not sounding me out as your copywriter or professional support. Professional people seek professional people for a job professionally well done. You know already if that’s you. Don’t you?

2. Would people who know and love you claim you’re a good laugh?

I will laugh during our work together whether you get involved or not, so this whole thing is a lot more comfortable if you’re on board. I don’t have to weave them into your copy or content, but during our communication (emails, zooms, voicenotes, etc), there will likely be puns and almost certainly song lyrics and movie quotes. In general, my humour ranges from ludicrous to dark, so buckle up. Humour is a great way to get round tough topics, so if you’re the kind of person who likes to look for offence when there was never any intent for it, look for it elsewhere, please. Business can be dull, so let’s have some fun, please.

3. Are you the kind of person who can be comfortable speaking their mind?

My philosophy with my clients is that if their response isn’t “Hell, Yes“, then it’s “God, No“. Feedback of “this could work” or “I quite like this” means it’s just not good enough, so I need you to be really honest and open with me so that I can nail this copywriting job for you. I’d rather you told me an idea or a first draft was the worst thing you’ve ever read, than for you to say it was okay, then go away and spend money with someone else hoping they can do a better job. The only person to improve on my standards, is me. Stick with me, and be straight with me. It more than pays off, I promise.

4. Do you feel comfortable being challenged if it means I can make your business better in ways that go beyond the initial magic I’ll work for your content, copy, and comms?

I get paid for my way with words, for sure, but I’m also paid for my opinions – the ones you asked for, and the ones you didn’t. I champion my clients, but I also challenge them. I want them to do better in business, so if I have a constructive thought, I’ll voice it. You ready?

5. Would you claim you’re liking everything you’re reading so far?

Carry on.

6. Are you ready, willing & able to pay?

Yep, you saw this one coming earlier in the blog, but you also saw it coming because you’re a solid business person and a decent human being. Those things should go for everyone, by the way – not just people I personally class as Ideal Clients. It’s not about parting with tonnes of cash or being ‘rich enough’ to afford me (I cost what I cost and people of all business sizes and standings have invested). It’s about knowing in your heart, head, and any other body parts of your choice that hiring a top copywriter is a fucking sound decision for your business or brand when it comes to getting a return on investment.

And finally…

7. Did you do everything in your festive power to avoid watching that god-awful Gavin & Stacey programme on Christmas Day?

If you know anything about me already (which isn’t essential, as the pure joy of working with me is in the ongoing discovery), you’ll know that if James Corden is involved, I’m automatically out. Having sat through numerous episodes of this trash in the past with friends, however, I can’t help thinking that I’d probably like the show more if they also canned Gavin and Stacey themselves along the way.

Of course, I’m being a tad facetious with that last one. We don’t have to have the same tastes, interests, or agreements in life to make this whole working together in business thing ‘ideal’. If anything, it makes life more enjoyable when there’s difference. Case in point, the number of people who work with me but are clear to point out the issue they have with my ‘dirty dairy habits‘ of making tea with the milk in first…

Note that at no point have I ever wished for a certain demographic of person, a type of project, or even an industry as a niche for my copywriting goodness. I don’t care. If we get on as humans, we get on. If I know your industry, the whole project takes less time and you get your results quick as a flash. If I don’t know your industry, you know I’ll be working damn hard for my money to do a good job to prove I can bridge the gap between you and the people who ‘just don’t get’ why it is they should be buying from you.

In summary, if you’ve ever been told that you’re an utterly joyless human being, you’ve had a sense-of-humour bypass in the last 5 to 10 years, or you scare easily in the face of a bit of straight talk and/or strange humour, then it’s a no from me as your potential copywriter. That’s even if you do have cash burning a hole in your pocket, by the way. Much like the Teddy Ruxpin my parents never got me for Christmas every year since 1985, I can’t be bought.

And so, from this copywriter hired by people with great taste in copywriters, it’s over to you.

Are you one of my Ideal Clients in 2025?

My DMs are open to chat.