As a copywriter, I’m not permitted under English Law to make any typos in my social media posts.

If I do, I can be legally shot on sight by any member of the public who’s skilfully trained in the art of zoning-in on rogue errors – and highly adept at zoning-out on any of the context, content or conversation that I’d hoped to put forward in the post in question.

It sounds like a harsh punishment, I know, but honestly, a clean shot through the head would be infinitely less painful than what does in fact happen when a copywriter (such as myself in this instance) does indeed make an error with a spelling or a punctuation mark when posting on social.

It’s been an eye-opener for me, because it seems that my social media typos get some people so hot and hard they should really be showcased on their own OnlyFans account. Typo-nlyFans.

For full context, though, there are five types of people who orbit my world of words when I choose to showcase them on social media (and shockingly make a typo in the process)…

1. The people who have no interest in my stuff either way, whether I’ve made a typo in the text, or contentiously listed my soul for sale in a bidding war.
2. The people who didn’t even notice the typo because they missed it (like I did, funnily enough).
3. The people who did notice the typo, but somehow managed not to either have their underpants nor their day ruined in response, and who were therefore able to enjoy (or endure) the post for the reasons I’d written it and the intentions I’d placed behind it.
4. The people who know I’m a perfectionist (and would therefore probably punish myself daily in knowing that my horribly human nature and clearly crap copywriting skills would destroy my life) and so drop me a private message to let me know so that I can discreetly go and change it.
5. The Twats. Sorry, the people who don’t like or support my post in any way – and have nothing to contribute to the point I raised or the conversation I started – but have used their one free hand (and a LOT of their free time) to purely point out not only my typo, but also – and this is both massively hilarious and highly unique – that “as a copywriter” I should be somehow disgusted in my worrying display of total ineptitude. These people are often vocally so “surprised“, “confused” or “concerned” by the results that it makes me think they may have once been any one of my A Level tutors during a previous life.

Now, I’ll admit, I hate making typos, and just as you wouldn’t trust an accountant with no money, or a hairdresser with a bubble perm, I understand that a mistake or misjudgement of language use is a red flag well raised when assessing the credibility of a copywriter. But being a professional – and even an adult – is all about being able to put things into context, isn’t it? So, for example, you know when something is clearly a typo of human haste, rather than the same mistake you’ve seen from this person time and time again (which admittedly is a fucking worry with a copywriter).

I get that there’s no getting away from the fact that a typo or mistake on any form of marketing isn’t a great look for anyone, and indeed it’s worse if your entire business and skillset is centred on your precision and power with words, but let’s also remember a couple of key points, here…

Firstly, although my social media posts and comments are my (only) marketing and therefore have a direct link to whether my business goes on to grab clients and make any money (or not), nobody’s paying me to write them. So, the incentive for me to agonise over apostrophes really isn’t a priority over the actual work my clients are paying me to do elsewhere.

Secondly, social media is a mobile beast, meaning that if I’m posting or commenting on anything, I’m likely doing it on my phone, where fat fingers and an autocorrect function that’s clearly never met me before in my ducking life will have the final say over what gets posted to the platform. There’s an edit function for a reason. With this in mind, do go ahead and ask yourself the question if I’m likely to undertake my clients’ copywriting projects one-handed on my phone whilst I cook three different teas/ watch shit TV/ have a relaxing soak in what used to be my bath.

And there’s more (and this one is truly going to make you climax if a copywriter making typos on public posts is your porn du jour). A lot of the drafts I submit to my clients contain typos, too!

What??? “Burn her at the steak!“* I hear you cry!

It’s true. You see, a copywriter isn’t someone you hire to make sure there are no errors in your writing. A copywriter is someone you hire to make sure there’s writing there worth bloody reading in the first place. My very own tagline is ‘Copywriter hired by people who want personality in their project‘, not ‘Copywriter hired by people who want all the apostrophes in the right place‘. And YES, obviously, linguistic and technical accuracy is massively important to us, but we’ll more than likely check and refine all of that stuff anyway after we’ve excitedly sent you a draft that fits the actual fucking brief of creating copy that’s all the things you wanted it to be. Ignoring all of that clever creation and zoning all of your focus in on punctuation is a bit like a chef making you the most magnificent meal they can muster (not least because you ordered it), and you losing your shit because they handed you the wrong fork to eat it with. It’s an easy fix that takes nothing away from the ‘dish’, is my point.

Typos in drafts are minor details that can always be rectified, and most likely, within five minutes of your copywriter sending you the first draft, you’ll bloody likely get another email that says something like, “The second paragraph should say ‘it’, not ‘its’“…

Just be thankful it didn’t say “tits“, FFS. Those things always need to be in context.

Whether we spot it or you spot it, we’ll fix it. Concentrate on the bigger picture in the first instance though, please.

But back to social media, you can see why a copywriter doesn’t care quite so much about the opinion of a troll than they do a paying client.

If a typo in my social media post ruins your day, I’m sorry (for you). If the opportunity to point it out to me physically makes you ejaculate, I’m also sorry (for me). But if there’s somewhere between that heartbreak and hand-job you can find some humanity… let it go.

In all senses.

*attempt at humour.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash