There’s no mistaking that when it comes to bringing me business, LinkedIn most definitely serves its purpose for me. But when it comes to bringing me joy… it hasn’t done that for a long time, by this point.

Do I fit in on LinkedIn anymore? No, I don’t think I do. But I’m okay with that.

I don’t…

…hold any intention of ‘scaling’, ‘levelling up’, or ‘smashing’ anything in the way of business. Making enough of a success of things so that I don’t have to worry about putting the heating on suits me just fine.

I don’t…

…have any influencers or social media celebs on my books to trade off or name-drop. I’d like to be known for being me, not for being a groupie in someone else’s entourage.

I don’t…

…go to the biggest events, the coolest parties, or the most popular meet-ups. I prefer being at home with (or without) my family, or out with my mates, or hanging out in my own little online micro-community.

I don’t…

…claim to be influential, inspirational, or the voice of any demographic. If you’re of influence or inspiration, that’s only ever someone else’s call anyway, surely?

I don’t…

…care to be coached by any gurus, mentored by any wannabes, or signed up to any cliques. Feeding someone else’s wallet and ego is a Jo-Jo no-no.

I don’t…

..feel the need to brag (or even speak) about my earnings. The only people who need to know those figures are the tax man/woman and anyone who stands to do well out of my will. Spoiler alert, only one of those people is on LinkedIn.

I don’t…

…’show up’ at all costs, strive to ‘be visible’, or feel the need to ‘showcase my personal brand’. I’m happy to turn up, fuck off, and hope that at some point in time, what I do results in money in my pocket.

I don’t…

…count likes as currency. My mortgage provider feels the same, funnily enough.

I don’t…

…cry on camera, pout on video, or believe that absolutely anyone gives a shit about what I’ve ‘just jumped on’ to say to them online. They don’t (and they shouldn’t).

I don’t…

…load myself up with labels to mark myself out as special. Someone once referred to me as a “fucking majestic bitch” on LinkedIn, but that’s a story for another time. And no, they didn’t mean it as a compliment.

I don’t…

…profess to be an authority on anything at all. I just do my best to be good at the things people pay me for.

I don’t…

…humblebrag, boast, or plead vulnerability. I do, however, call vulnerabullshit whenever I smell it.

I don’t…

…win any awards. I don’t enter any in the first place, though, to be fair…

I don’t…

…desire to be famous. If I ever start a post with “People always ask me…“, just fucking kill me, please?

I don’t…

…enjoy LinkedIn anywhere near as much as I used to. And I really did used to love it. Nowadays, the ‘content’ I see kind of makes me feel alone. Yet, given the fact you’re still reading this… I reckon I’m not alone in that feeling.