It is a truth universally acknowledged that football players earn too much money.

Having worked in professional football for many years, I agree; most don’t do much to ‘earn’ it to start with. However, we can’t let those who provide the football commentary slip through this net. Pundits make an expert living from the amateur skill of stating the obvious and excessive roll-out of awkward clichés and bought memories.

If being an expert on football requires little knowledge of the game beyond realms of common sense, I’d like my Sky Sports headset and easiest payslip in the game now, please!